Ranu and the cast

Yes that is the name of the new horror story that my whole family is terrified of!!! No it is not a new production by the Ramsay brothers or something as interesting as an amalgamation of khooni-kabarastan and omen 6 but our very own home production quite lame actually. I am not very good at conversations so I wont make another attempt at it but the story goes as this:

Ma, Dad and niece had to make some purchases before they left from Mumbai so they had to go shopping. As it is the norm with FAT people I am not able to keep my body steady on one uneven hard solid sock and another tied in ribbon. (I know the background sounds just like Christmas….. socks and ribbons et al). Resultant whenever I want to do something I have to summon for help….. I honestly don’t need it but Ma and sis and dad just won’t let it at that. So usually I am kept under the hawk eyed surveillance of my niece who screams whenever I put my leg down and a whole lot of people appear. This has been going on for quite sometime. It is actually become an irritation specially with the dose of medications and me being immobile and mainly lack of my precious sleep. I can sleep all day but at night I get claustrophobic and sit on bed all night owl/bat like. So whenever I am awake I keep staring at the cast if only and when things get unbearable I scream that I want it off and will remove it!!!

Coming back to the day of the shopping Ma and dad waited all evening for hubs to arrive who got caught at work last minute and was delayed so that they could leave. Ultimately after convincing them that I was a good girl and I would cause no harm to the CAST they went. The departmental store where they went is just adjacent to my society but every five minutes dad would call and ask how I was and if hubs had arrived and if I was OK. Hubs on the other hand left work in haste after my dad called him and caught the first available train then started the premiere of our horror story!!!

I was overjoyed at the prospect of being alone after so many days and sat fiddling with the tv remote…… normally I have to share it with my niece who likes strange grotesque looking characters prancing on the screen in something called pogo (whatever happened to good old mickey, donald, pluto, tom and jerry???). Hubs called me asked me what I was doing and the same blah blah that I had just answered dad. I was irritated that they did not trust me and I told him I was sharpening knives !!!! Hey it was just for fun!!! and also mentioned that I and CAST were alone and we were having a convo. Hubs returned 15 minutes before time and dad and ma in an hour’s time. I wonder if hubs has emergency wings to reach so fast. He otherwise takes a lot more time to come…….. New topic for research !!!!

By the way what are you punekars giving Indra ?(for all you novices : according to Hindu mythology he is the god of RAIN) Well I can promise you that whatever it is we Mumbaikars will double it. Man it is raining pleasantly there and we people sweltering it in the heat!!! It is hot we need the rain too. So just send the guy here !!! He just won’t cross Kamshet. Is Menaka having some dance concert there? if yes we will book a full stadium here for her just send him here!!!!

Just a song I thought I would be including in my movie just a few changes. Still have to work on the complete lyrics !!!

Main aur mera pair (leg) aksar ye batein karte hain
tum hoti to kaisa hota, tum ye kehti, tum vo kehti
tum is baat pe hairan hoti, tum us baat pe kitni hasti
tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to vaisa hota
main aur mera pair aksar ye batein karte hain

The CAST is not really so bad you know……. it is USEFUL. When somebody irritates you, you can accidentally lose your balance and step on them……. hehehehe I have already tried it !!!! Some people are even scared of me!!!!!

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