Have you ever lost your temper and wished that you could bash somebody up??? Well somehow it happens to me very often. I lose my temper……. see red…… want to kill that someone and then don’t really say anything to the person in question and just walk away……… boiling all the away. Sometimes a couple of remarks do leave my otherwise (so called) well controlled mouth. Call me short tempered or lack of anger management skills or any other jargon you wish to use from the English language. I usually put it down to PMS. But I guess it is not so simple.

A couple of days back I was very tired after work and wanted to take my well earned break from cooking so I ordered home delivery. Hubs and me did not want to cook but did not want to eat the frozen restaurant gravy.

Flash back : Some days back we had heard of this lady who has a home delivery service in our society, which serves authentic Bengali food. Since I do not cook much of Bengali food at home we decided to try it and called up the number.

Present : The lady at the other end who spoke had a raspy voice and was rude to the point that she would not deliver dinner unless it is ordered at 4:00 in the evening and that too we had to order for minimum 4 people. She spoke in the typical Ballygunje……. I know English kind of English, which I must say is not British nor Indian nor American nor Bengali. Here I have to mention that the prices quoted were also obnoxiously high. She was charging Rs 200 for a dish of macher jhol (fish in thin gravy) for one person. What bothered me was not the price but the lady’s attitude towards me when I spoke to her. I was polite to the extent that I was wallowing in honey but the lady was so rude that I wanted to bash her up on the phone.

I was hungry and really wanted to eat chanar dalna (paneer preparation) and hubs wanted to eat fish but the lady was really obnoxious!!! well we didn’t order because we were only two of us and could not eat the food for four and it was already 7:30 pm so she would not take the order. I mean how does anybody know at 4:00 pm that they would not want to cook at 7:30 pm and would want to order a home delivery but then for Her rules are rules…… She is personification of Bruce Almighty Bengali cuisine service…….. and dumbo me always thought that home delivery food was for last minute bookings…….. guess I was wrong…… well I cant really complain my learning curve is growing after all!!!!

Her attitude took me down memory lane to all the times since I was very little and wanted to bash up people. I did bash up guys in my days at college but never girls and older people. This idea found hubs and me making a list of the people we would bash up given the opportunity. While our simple dinner of khichadi and papad (that was all I could dish up) cooked, we both sat down to make our list of 99 slaps. I could not make it to the 99 and would never put it up on my blog, but I did have a large number…… from my third grade till date. The surprising element of it was that most of them…….. 90% were females. Guess I am partial to women after all.

I have Rohit Krishna and Bani Dey (who cares if they read) and some more men from work on my list but the number of men were very few but the show stealers…… I mean the top five included Rupinder, Sr Bertilla (one reaction from her altered the course of my entire life), my tailor who spoiled all my dresses this year and one particular maid of mine who had me fuming so much that hubs claimed that he could see smoke emanating from my ears. I have been very tolerant with women not so much with men whom I usually say what I feel. I reserve my thoughts when it comes to women and fume later.

But given the chance I would like to go back to all these people and I want to bash them up….. the dhobi pachhad way. Haaaah bliss!!!! the very thought of doing that is giving me so much peace!!! I particularly remember this person who spoke of me as if I wasn’t in the room while I sat and listened to all of it. I would like to really slap this person….. lady again!!!

I really wish I had some power like gupi and bagha from the movie “gupi gayen bagha bayen” by Satyajit Ray and I could clap my hands and reach where the person is right now and sing something and slap that person as much as I wanted and then come back to where I am!!! I loved that movie!!! I wish it was not fantasy and it was for real…… just one tight slap each!!!! not much you know considering the amount of baggage I am carrying because of these people!!!

God willing one day I will be magnanimous to be able to forgive all these people who have hurt me!!! I live in anticipation of that day…… I hope it comes fast and peace reins within me forever……. else the Gods should seriously think of giving me the gupi-bagha power!!!! the latter is definitely more interesting and satisfying :)!!!! somethings don’t change :)….. what ???? ME of course!!!!!