How many times in a day do you use the phrase “I understand” “Its OK” etc etc

Yesterday my niece called me to invite me to her birthday. She had asked me earlier to keep the day free. But I could not travel in the heat also i had some real unexpected jobs lined up for the day. So when i told her that I cant make it, she said “Its OK….. I understand!!!”

It made me think does why does she understand??? how many times in a day do we compromise with our situations??? Doesn’t compromising make one hell part of our life ??? When do we really start “understanding”??? I mean what age???

Adjustment and compromise seems to be the code word of all our lives!!! From our morning tea which is not just the way we like it to the time we go to bed we understand and compromise with our so called situation. We are taught young to do just that!!! In my family every compromise got us accolades by the family saying look how intelligent she has become…… She understands!!!

I did not want my niece to say that. I did not want her to “understand”. I wanted her to throw a tantrum and tell me to get myself and be there on time to cut the cake!!! But I guess my niece as is said in the family “is intelligent and understands”.

Her dad barely made it to the party yesterday. He had to work…… you know recession et al…… See even you “understand” !!! guess that puts you in the same category as all of us understanding and compromising citizens of the world.

Why do we all give the least importance to our family? We never ever say that at office!!! We never forgive a subordinate who did not complete his work in time or did not meet his targets. Even if we do let go at that point of time……. isnt that the first thing that comes to the mind during the quaterly appraisals??? We potray “perfection” at work!!! No we do not understand at work. The show must go on!!! etc etc. So why dont we give our family the same kind of understanding.

When it comes to understanding we always give the family the first priority and do all the “understanding” there.

Even with our daily lives we take so much shit from people…… politicians included. With the upcoming elections – my ma who is a total daily soap fanatic says that she watches news instead because it is more fun there than anything. I was speaking to my friend the other day who commented on the fact that the ads given by the various political parties are “touching” and they brought tears to her eyes!!! That is a whole lot of crap…….. all those buggers are using our hard earned tax money to give ads in prime time. Can you imagine how many remote villages in India could get basic ammenities with that money.

All these politicians should be made to do compulsory service in these villages. They should be sent to NGO’s run by Baba Amte and Anna Hazare and learn the true essence of the word “service”.

Somedays back I saw an unsung real heroes award given by CNN IBN sponsored by Reliance. It was humbling to watch these simple but great people. Their stories are truly overwhelming one of whom who runs a cycle repair shop cremates abandoned bodies, another fruit seller from bangalore who is illiterate himself but started a school with his meagre earnings selling fruit, one woman from bengal who washes vessels to start a free hospital for all, a doctor in Kashmir who helps get the widows remarried, an uneducated farmer who solved water woes, a couple who runs an institution for organ donation, one man who saves girls from entering into prostitution, two women who take care of abandoned children and one who makes and distributes free sanitary pads to women in rural areas etc etc.

The program was one of the most humbling experiences of my life!!! (I found one link here.) I could see that Mukesh Ambani and his wife who gave away the awards totally echoed my feelings. They could not look these people in the eyes. When it comes to making a change we sit back and say “Its ok…..very sad…… but I understand!!!”

Do we really understand or are we making excuses for our laziness to make a change!!! One of the awardees said “The first act – the first step is the most difficult one. The others will just follow. So take the first step. You just have to look around you!!!”

I guess we should really and truly stop understanding and take steps to not being “understanding” and teach the same to our kids!!!