Two subsequent blog entries make me wonder whether I am after all metamorphosising to something different…… something GOOD!!! That again makes me wonder as to what is GOOD!!! GOOD according to the dictionary would mean “having desirable qualities especially those suited for a thing specified”. That itself would mean that the meaning of the word would depend on the perception of the person using the word GOOD.

Some people say that I am GOOD whereas there are lots others whose entire lives depends on proving to me that I AM NOT GOOD!!! I come across both types of people on a daily basis. But if I were to run into a popularity contest believe me I will lose miserably. I generally do not base my life looking for appreciation of people but again I am always careful that I do not hurt anybody intentionally or unintentionally…. I am not really successful in that regard and anyways I have realized that I cannot really make everyone happy…… but I do try to…. specially the people close to me but I am afraid I fail most of the times……. Eventually I have given up even trying. But time and again I am faced by this dilemma which makes me think if there really are some parameters in which I could define the word “GOOD” and if there was a code of conduct…… believe me the world would be so much simpler….. in my attempt to make my life and the life of all the people attached to me simpler I think I really complicate the whole thing.

I stopped getting into the good books of people a long time ago….. A useless venture…. because eventually people believe what they wish to immaterial of what you wish to convince them. The last one I got was my temper and me being selfish and tried as I could to convince that it was infact…. PMS……. I don’t think anybody bought that. I believe that when you accept a person you should accept the person with all the qualities that they possess…. GOOD and BAD. The good quality is always accepted but people do not wish to accept the bad.

I am a Hindu. In the Hindu way of life we are taught to believe that the GOOD and the BAD always persist alongside each other and where there is GOODNESS there is also the element of BAD. The good becomes good only because of the bad…. so when we worship DURGA we also worship MAHISHASUR because even though he was a bad person, he met his end in the hands of GOODNESS……. for that itself, he had a lot of goodness within him.

Most people are looking for a certain element in a person and they do not wish to see rest. They want to “slot” the person into something. Most of the times the person does not fit into it and then “hell breaks loose” and the questions of good and bad come through. When I was younger I tried to convince people about the misconceptions they had about me……. nobody ever understood….. Eventually I gave up. I sometimes I wonder whether the problem is with me that people don’t understand me because so many people could not be wrong. But I guess this mystery will always remain unsolved as I have given up on people trying to “understand me” and simply live my existence.

I think my hubby is really fed up of answering this question for me over and over again everyday and so I guess I should just stop asking him that and just be!!! So if I lose the popularity contests most of the times in my hubby’s eyes I ALWAYS WIN….. Guess he has no choice than to get me to win!!! yes i am spoilt!!!