God vs Satan
I think this is hilarious !!! I have never before read creation explained this way before!!!
In the beginning God created
the heavens and the earth
and populated the earth with broccoli,
cauliflower and spinach, green and
yellow and red vegetables of all kinds,
so Man and Woman would
live long and healthy lives!!!
Then using God’s great gifts
Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice cream
and Krispy creme Donuts.
And Satan said, ” You want chocolate with that?”
And Man said. “Yes!!!” and
Woman said , ” And as long as your’e at it,
add some sprinkles.”
And they gained 10 pounds
And Satan smiled!!!
God created the healthful yogurt that
Woman might keep the
figure that Man found so
fair and Satan brought
forth white flour from the
cane and combined them.
And Woman went from
size 6 to size 14.
So God said, “Try my fresh green
salad.” And Satan presented
Thousand – Island Dressing
buttery croutons and garlic toast
on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened
their belts following the repast.
God then said, “I have sent you
healthy vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them”. And Satan
brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken fried steak so big it needed its
own platter. And Man gained more
weight and his cholestrol went through
the roof. God then created a light fluffy
white cake, named it “Angel food Cake,”
and said “Its good.”
Satan then created chocolate cake
and named it “Devil’s food.”
God then brought forth
running shoes so that his children
might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV
with a remote control so
Man would not have to toil
changing the channels.
And man and woman laughed
and cried before the flickering blue
light and gained pounds.
God brought forth the potato
naturally low in fat and brimming
with nutrition. And Satan peeled off
the healthful skin and sliced the
starchy centre into chips anmd deep-fried
them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man
might consume fewer calories and still
satisfy his appetite. And Satan created
Mc Donald’s and it’s
99 cent double cheeseburger. Then said
“You want fries with that?” And Man
replied, “Yes!!! and super size them
and Satan said, “It is good”. And Man
went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created
Quadruple Bypass Surgery.