Posts in Category: Blog

Independence from bullies.

Recently I was privy to a certain gentleman, a regular troublemaker of sorts, a cyber bully who loves the eye ball effect, call names to the security guard of a housing society and also threaten to slap him all because the guard was unable to open the alternate gate of the society because it was raining. He took largely to social media calling names to people who were supporting him and with a lot of chest pounding he says if I am paying for his services he should deliver. We have been receiving torrential rains in our city in the last few days. The society’s directive to use one single gate for management purpose was issued well in advance to all society members in different medium like notice boards and whatsapp and email. In spite of this the gentleman (read caveman) hurling obscenities at the security personnel and the society members who supported him.

In another instance there was a power outage in certain flats in the society and I was unable to find the reason for the same. I took to social media to find the reason for the same. A certain gentleman gave me many reasons as to why the electricity was not working but never once offered help physically.

We celebrate our independence day this week and I am really stunned as to where our society is heading. We are living in an age of utter intolerance where the people do not think twice before hurling obscenities and physical violence if their wishes are not met with. What happened to the first thing that we learnt as we were kids (at least I did!) “BE KIND” is it a very huge thing to ask for. In the second case the person in question could have come down and offered to help to sort the problem but rather stayed back enjoying the monsoon at his home. Empathy and Sympathy have flown out of the door long before but just being kind to a fellow human…… Is that too much to ask for???

What kind of a society am I envisioning for my daughter….. One that says that if you have the money, everybody else who has less money than you can be abused physically and verbally. Social media evil has finally caught up. We have been writing and reading about its evils for long but now seeing them in action is totally overwhelming. Cyber bullies rule the scene. You can say anything to anybody and get away with it. People would rather comment on various social media about what has to be done rather than help a fellow human in need. Such behavior is truly appalling!!! They are the worst onlookers in the world….. the ones that witness an accident and do nothing to help in fear of getting embroiled in serious legal cases.

One thing that is paramount on everybody’s brain today is that what is there in it for me. I will only pitch in if it affects me. My house should be clean and nice even if that means somebody else’s house gets dirty in the process. Kindness has left us. It is so saddening. We just want to hurt people and the thing is that in most cases they get away with it. It is something that remains a chapter in the moral science books of kids. I am scared of the society I will be passing on to my daughter. Terrified of her physical and mental health when she is exposed to these social psychopaths.

In my childhood I remember living in a totally different set up. It seems like a different city or a different age. But the fact remains is that the geography is still the same and the age is not so long ago….. It is the people who have changed. I remember my neighbor aunty would pop in at home and ask my mom if she wanted anything from the shops as she was visiting the same. When mom was hospitalized and dad went to take care of mom, my neighbor literally took us in fed us saw to our school and everything else…… she even celebrated my birthday as dad and mom were not around….. just like my maasi or any other relative would have done. If there was a fuse problem we would ring our neighbors bell and ask uncle to fix it. We never thought twice about it. We never missed family. Our neighbors were our family. At one instance there was an accident and a neighbor brought me home. Today these are stories….. we no longer share the same relation with our neighbors….. rather if we find a neighbor making a mistake we would gloat about what a horrendous person the family is and add lot of pictures to it as well. Help to rectify it…… I have never heard of. We need occasions to meet our neighbors….. which has to include a show of wealth!!!! Let me give you two scenarios and rest my case

Scenario 1996 : It is raining cats and dogs. Child rings neighbor’s bell….”Uncle there is no electricity and Papa is not at home”. Uncle was having tea and pakoras says “ok lets go!!! must be the fuse……”. Fuse repaired electricity restored took all of five minutes. Child thanks uncle and they go home to return to their respective activities.

Scenario 2016 : It is raining cats and dogs. Child rings neighbor’s bell….”Uncle there is no electricity and Papa is not at home”. Uncle was having tea and pakoras says “I have electricity. Have you asked Shukla jee? I can see that all the neighboring flats have electricity as well. Where has your father gone?”  Child “Dad has gone to buy Lauki” Uncle “I don’t understand why the electricity goes off only in your flat so often. You must be using some heavy duty equipment. Do you have an inverter? It is such a necessity these days. So very convenient for your father to go to buy lauki when there is no electricity. Have u checked all the rooms? Have you pressed the reset button? Have you checked if it has tripped? Have you checked the fuse? I will forward you the google link for “How to change fuse so you can change it”. That link is very reliable. Also I will whatsapp you the numbers for the electricians in the vicinity. I will also share the zimmber app so you can get a discount for the electrician and I get a benefit of points from the referral. If your father can afford lauki he can also afford the services of an electrician. Why can’t he take responsibility for his home….. Kaamchor!!! Makkar!!! See I have been so helpful….. If all of this does not work you should call MSEB you can find their app on google playstore and register a complaint and don’t forget to post it on whatsapp so that others can all file complaints. We should always be united and help each other. And once electricity is restored I will give you a thumbs up for it in whatsapp.” Took all of 30 minutes….. Child thanks uncle and returns home to darkness uncle to his pakoras which alas have become cold…… All because of the pesky neighbor’s annoying kid. So neighbor is eating lauki….. He seems to have become rich!!!

I used the example of Lauki because it is not an expensive vegetable and everybody can afford it. But at neighbor’s home lauki becomes a status symbol. The changing of the fuse would have probably taken 5 minutes atleast that is the amount of time it takes me to change the fuse. But uncle would rather launch on a long rhetoric discourse of options available. Who wants research when simple changing fuse could have helped!!!

People prey on other peoples weakness, their mistakes, their judgmental errors!!! I was taught that if a person considers that they have committed a mistake they should be forgiven. To err is human after all. But when the person thinks that they are right because it effects a person who is of lower economic strata…… he is poor, he deserves it….. it is appalling. People think they are God because they can pay…… but they forget God does not judge…… at least that is what I was taught to believe in. Rather these people would prey on their mistakes and make a social mockery of them.

Independence from evils….. isn’t that what we wish for??? for ourselves, for our kids and for the people we care. Then why have we lost it??? Is being kind so difficult. Empathy Sympathy are they tough??? People flood the social media with pictures of mistakes of other people….. I haven’t once seen a positive picture, in this case a picture of a smiling security guard who is thousands of miles away from his home his family his children protecting other people and their kids their homes and their families. Not one good deed of theirs is highlighted. These people stay months away from families not knowing who is protecting their kids. Who doesn’t wish to spend a wet and rainy day indoors surrounded by your loved ones??? But monetary constraints have them travelling to far off places in search of livelihood. The society member in question could easily have reversed his car in the rain and used the other gate which is 200 or less meters away. But he chose to hurl abuses physical and verbal at the security guards because he has paid for his services. Since you are poor u deserve to get wet in the rain! My intention is not to glorify the security guards but to highlight the reaction of a member of society because his wishes of opening the gate were not met….. because he paid for the services of the security guard.

Kindness people…… we need kindness for our world and intolerance against people who are not kind until they realize they can’t get away by being rude and mean to people. We have lost a lot of lives because of cyber bullies. These bullies prey on innocent and weak people and back them up to commit life threatening consequences. Stop them!!! Give our children and ourselves the gift of a healthy surrounding. Not one where people sneer mock and threaten!!!

If you see something like this happen to anybody don’t stop to protect. Your child or you could be next!!!! Give us independence from these people. Force them to be kind!!! Stop using social media for proving your wealth and poverty of others and for chest thumping. In my experience as a social worker I found immense peace and happiness by just helping people….. If you don’t agree it is ok……. let it go. Not everything in this universe deserves a reaction from you. But don’t let that stop you from protecting those who can’t protect themselves. Tell them they can’t hurt people!

Kindness goes a long way!!! Try it !!!!

Quote on Religion

Each soul is potentially divine. The goal is to manifest this Divinity within by controlling nature, external and internal. Do this either by work, or worship, or mental discipline, or philosophy—by one, or more, or all of these—and be free.

This is the whole of religion. Doctrines, or dogmas, or rituals, or books, or temples, or forms, are but secondary details.

~~~Swami Vivekananda~~~

I am THIS…….. and more !!!

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What are you doing these days??? This is a question that is asked at least 5 when times I meet people. My answer these days usually is “Nothing” or “I take pictures…… The answer usually varies depending upon the person I am talking to. Some years back when this question was asked, I would launch onto a rhetoric monologue about the challenges of the industry to survive in the present economy…… to my current predicament of having no time at all or the current job market….. but these days my answer usually stuns people. Over a period of time I have realised that this question is usually an ice breaker to a conversation and people in general would rather speak about their professional lives. The other alternative is usually gossip or serials which is something I steer very clear of.  I have been in the career rat race since a very long time. Having started working at the age of 16 and been working ever since, independent, self-reliant et al…….. somewhere down the line I realised that I didn’t have any life apart from the professional life. I was very ambitious and at that point I wanted to change the world and do awesome stuff.

But all I did was wake up in the morning do my regular household chores rush to take the train or drive myself to work, where I battled the traffic then the office politics and all the paraphernalia that came with it only to return home to do more work cooking and cleaning and then fall exhausted to sleep only to repeat all the things all over again. Holidays were dreaded!!! Because it meant a whole day of marathon cooking cleaning washing and more cooking cleaning washing. Well I was disillusioned. Being independent self-reliant was a joke because I was a slave to my job and the monotony my master. Don’t get me wrong I loved my work like any other person was even very good at it and also kinda loved cooking, but the monotony of the whole thing finally got to me. Striking a balance was unquestioned because I was miserable in what I did. I didn’t have time for anybody not even for myself, just an isolated sad self-pitying case…… I was just a nameless spoke in somebody elses well oiled machine.

So when I happened to break both my ankles at the same time and was confined to bed with my feet in the air I took another look at my life. I was standing on my own two feet one day and the next day I was literally off it. I didn’t like what I saw!!! I was another piece of a huge machine which was just that….. a piece of machine. I didn’t do anything besides being a very miniscule part of the machine. Also my health was suffering and when I saw my wardrobe I realised that all the clothes I possessed were stuff that I went to work in. So basically that meant that I didn’t have a life, I was unhealthy and I didn’t know where I was going and most important……. I was not happy. So I took the forced medical break and decided to make the most of it. I realised that I loved painting and took to it in a big way. My love for the camera which had been present ever since I first held my dad’s Agfa and my sister told me to stop my breath and press the shutter for that perfect shot became the highlight of my life. My love for plants and flowers. Experimenting with cooking and inventing and innovating in the kitchen.  The biggest surprise that came to me from nowhere was that I loved teaching. It hit me hard because I always thought of myself as a hard-nosed corporate person. I belonged to a family of teachers but I always believed that I was the odd one out. This was a surprise that hit me hard.

I took to all of these with the same focus that I put in my job. The result was that I didn’t go back to work. I won’t say that I am the best photographer or the best painter or the best chef  or best gardener or the best teacher…….. I am all of these and more and these are things that make me very happy. I wont lie about missing the Gandhi factor in my life which I got at the end of each month. But the compensations in comparison are far more immense…… my professional degrees are put more to use today than it has been when I was working full-time. My brain can think from angles I had never thought of before. I feel I don’t have any limitations and can do anything and everything. I find new things to do at every turn in life and I enjoy all of them and the perfectionist in me gets them done to the “T”.  I have learnt to improvise and accept things and today I realise that I have much much more to achieve than I have till date. I have more time for my personal relations as compared to before. I have to acknowledge here that if it hadn’t been for hubby I wouldn’t have been able to do this. But since he is taking care of the monetary aspects of life I have the liberty to do stuff that I like. And I am very thankful to him for that. Today I am no longer a corporate person but I am so much more…… I am a better wife a better daughter a photographer a teacher a temperamental but still….. a painter,  an ok cook, a gardener………. also a very happy person and much much more………

 

This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.

 

God is a Gamer……. a review

Ravi Subramanian is the author for best-selling thrillers and he has not disappointed his fans. God is a gamer is an absolute page turner guaranteed to keep you engrossed and on your toes all through till the end. It has a whole range of everything…… terrorist attacks, murders, suicides, hit-and-runs, espionage, ATM heist, cyber crimes, online phishing, money laundering, illegal sites, online crimes, politician and underworld nexus etc. This is my second Ravi Subramanian book so when I started the book I knew what to expect and I was not disappointed. I read the book cover to cover non-stop in 7 hours……

The book takes you to the fascinating world of Bitcoins for use as alternative currency for online transactions. What follows is an interwoven series of events spanning across New York, Washington DC, Mumbai, Goa etc. The book starts with the assassination of US senator and close aide to the US President, Gillian Tan in Washington DC, on his way to a meeting with the US President for the use of Bitcoins as a legal form of currency. A phishing scandal in New York International Bank in Mumbai has disturbed the peace of the banking world and has put the job of Swami, head of retail banking on line. Meanwhile Josh Connelly in New York is preparing for a major ATM heist using the TOR browser and making online transactions on “Cotton Trail”, a website for all illegal activities like narcotics, prostitution, banned substance even paedophillia which is accessible only through TOR and making payments for all of these via Bitcoins.

The book is about Aditya and Sundeep…… mentor and close friends of Swami who are floundering with their gaming business. The death of a top banker and aspirant for the post of RBI governor Malvika puts the whole plot in a frenzy with the CBI and FBI joining hands to solve the various interconnected crimes. The job of solving all this falls on the FBI officer Adrian, Tony and Dan and CBI officer Kabir.

The story also revolves around Varun and Tanya. Their love and romance puts the story in a lighter note. While Varun helps his father Aditya’s floundering gaming business to get back into track, Tanya tries to come to terms with the mystery surrounding the death of her mother Malvika and suspects the finance minister’s hand in her death.

The book is beautifully interwoven with lots of twists and turns in the plot. I was very fascinated with the whole bitcoin theory….. the first I heard of it….. also using the concept of downloading Bot malware while updating the gaming programs into the plot was a genius. Gillian Tan’s wife Nikki, daughter Gloria and White house head of staff Mike Hendricks keep the plot twisted and confused. The thriller ends with the hooker’s blog connecting all the dots to complete the picture. I kept wondering about the tag line “Is revenge a crime”…….. I understood it only after I finished the epilogue.

What I liked about the book was the pace in which it moved. It kept me glued to the book asking for more. The chapters are very small so for a person with a short attention span this is god-send. I was totally flummoxed reading the epilogue. It turned the story round totally and gave the whole book a totally different angle. The book is very informative….. I had no idea of the .onion pseudo domain host sites that can be accessed only through TOR browsers. Using hotel key cards for an ATM heist and hacking into the bank servers to increase the withdrawal limits made me realise we are totally not safe at all times and that cyber crimes have reached our door steps….. we better wake up and take note. All in all I was transported to a whole new online world of cyber crimes which I had no idea about. It was an absolute revelation. My knowledge barely covered phishing and hacking….. The events took the concept of cyber crimes to a whole new level.

The cover of the book has the white house in the background and the Bitcoin logo. The pictorial depiction of the black clouds moving towards the White House in view of a whole new kind of sophisticated criminal genre in the form of Bitcoins being used to finance crime is a new challenge for the whole world and therefore very apt for the theme of the book.

What I didn’t like about the book were the number of characters in the book that kept increasing with every chapter and often I lost track of them…… some of them were totally unnecessary. The book moved too fast from Washington DC to New York to Mumbai to Goa and back so I wasn’t really able to connect to the characters or empathise with them. The prologue was absolutely unnecessary and was not part or in any way connected to the main plot. Some of the events in the book were totally not necessary. The dramatic end where the FBI and CBI are revealing the killer reminded me of CID’s ACP Pradyuman and Salunkhe and I kept waiting for Daya or Abhijeet (Shome) to do some door breaking 😀 (LOL ).

The book is a gripping thriller and absolute value for money. Must read for all!!!

Thank you Blogadda for the autographed copy of the book it was an excellent read.

This review is a part of the biggest Book Review Program for Indian Bloggers. Participate now to get free books!

Daddy….. the birth of a Father……. a review

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Tuhin A. Sinha’s latest book Daddy….. The birth of a Father came to me via PR Pundit. This is the first time I am reading a Tuhin Sinha. The book is a non-fiction book for childcare written by a hands on dad. This is the first book that I have read that is a comprehensive and pragmatic account of childcare and parenting from the father’s viewpoint. The book covers the dos and don’ts of child care from the time the parents know of the pregnancy, the ultrasounds, what to expect when pregnant, all of it from the fathers perspective to the birth of the child to the challenges of a hands on father with a newborn upto the age of 2 years when the child leaves for pre-school.

In today’s urban life of nuclear families with little or no support system we often find ourselves at a juncture of balancing the home and workplace. In the past this has been a job which has been exclusive to the woman. She gives up her career or has to balance both. In the process even though she tries hard it becomes impossible to justify both and she ends up feeling guilty. Sharing of responsibilities is so essential in the modern day fast life.  Today we see more and more women returning back to work soon after the maternity leave, and more and more fathers opting for a flexible job timings so that they can be with the kids and take an active part in their initial days. This is a joy that was not an option for fathers in the past because it was “a woman’s job“.

Daddy is Tuhin Sinha’s personal journey of becoming a father and all the challenges that he and his wife have gone through in this process. The book depicts this role reversal and the challenges that the couple have faced. The book also takes into account the experiences of many other fathers with similar predicament and the result is a beautiful compilation of childcare from the father’s point of view.

The book also has write ups by a child psychologist and pediatricians simplifying some otherwise scary aspects in the life of a newborn. Tuhin Sinha has simplified childcare and has shown that you can be loving and doting parent without being overly obsessed about it. I have come across many parents whose obsession with children take childcare to a whole new platform…… which is absolutely not healthy. Tuhin balanced his utter total love for his baby without being obsessed about it. The “helicopter parent syndrome” was dealt with very nicely. Especially considering the fact that  parents hate being told that they are so.

The balance of extended family with grandparents and parents taking an active part in the child’s upbringing was dealt with very beautifully without stepping onto each others foot. The happy and secured upbringing for the child is an essential factor and including the grandparents and using their experience to give an all round development to the child was highlighted.

What I loved about the book is the simple language. The chapters were not too long and the anecdotes kept you glued to the writing. He simplified the mammoth task of child rearing and got you to enjoy it. He has amply justified the nuances of stay at home fathers and removed any stigma that has been associated with it. I found this fact refreshing. The pictorial references for swaddling a child, massage, bathing the child, burping the child are really a nice addition. The pragmatic approach to things that will happen and the practical way of handling them is something nobody else will tell you. The chapter on nannies in the Indian context was very informative.

Relationship of new parents post birth of a baby was a unique addition which I liked. The fact that life does not only have to be about the baby was endearing. The inclusion of a list of illnesses and a table of what to do when it happens was a good addition.  The chapters come with a short summary  at the end of it which lists the content of the chapter which in turn could serve as a to-do list for most fathers. The references from other fathers has helped give the book a well rounded approach and made the book sort of a handbook for fathers to-be. The dreamy and emotional letter in the end was a fabulous end to the book.

The cover pic of the two hands was beautiful. As a photographer I loved it. It clearly showed the love between the father and the child with the child grasping the finger of the father…..  The personal pics in the inside covers makes Neev Tanish very real to the reader and also makes it a pictorial depiction of Tuhin’s personal journey.

What I didn’t think necessary was the lengthy prologue. The book is complete by itself….. the Bollywood connection to justify it was not required…… it was trying to validate the book. The effort was obvious…….The experiences of the common hands-on-dads made it more approachable because the book by itself is a beautiful rendition of the relation of father and son and love comes through to me as a reader. All in all a good read and full value for money. A must buy for fathers starting a family and must gift for would-be mothers to gift their clueless husbands.

Tuhin’s  sensitivity of the whole what to expect when you’re expecting and later bringing up the child was so beautiful that I personally think all would-be mothers should be shoving the book down their hubby’s throats…. I know I would…….. “Kuch seekho”!!!

Thank you PR Pundit for the excellent read.

Private India…… a review

PRIVATE INDIA LR

I received this book as part of the BlogAdda Book review program. This book is a culmination of two great minds. Our very own Ashwin Sanghi and James Patterson of the Private series fame. It’s an absolute page turner thriller and promises to have you glued asking for more. The collaboration has the protagonists of both the authors coming together to solve this absolute interesting maze of events.

A series of serial killing rocks the city of Mumbai. The women murdered are strangulated with a yellow scarf. The  murdered victims are the movers and shakers of Mumbai. They belong to different walks of life ranging from a doctor, to a journalist, to a singer, a politician, a principal, a judge, an actress……. with nothing in common among them on the face of it. The only common factors are the yellow scarf used for killing the victims and a series of trinkets placed around them. What ensues is a chase with a body found at every corner.  The story is also of the troubled head of Private India, Santosh Wagh who lost his family in an accident. He is entrusted with the investigation of the serial murders. He and his team of investigators Nisha, Mubeen and Hari Padhi look for clues only to reach a dead-end at every corner. The entry of Jack Morgan fastens the pace of the investigation with all fingers pointing to the Attorney General who is embroiled in the killings at every stage.

Sanghi’s penchant for mythology comes through with the interesting trivia about the thuggee cult and the navratri festival, making Goddess Durga an important part of the story. Mumbai is the central theme where the book is based. So the author takes you everywhere from Malabar hill to cuffe parade to Mira Road. The book has a little of everything criminal in Mumbai…….. the nexus between the police officer Rupesh and the underworld don Munna and Godman Nimboo baba, the corruption between the politicians and the judiciary, the betting racket angle, the bollywood angle, the maimed child beggar angle, child abuse, prostitution and political nexus and of course the terrorism angle……. just about everything criminal in Mumbai.

The cover of the book has this lovely picture of the gateway and the Taj hotel together in one frame, taken in magic hour. I particularly loved that shot also the pic of the bandra sea link at night is beautiful and it does show the Indian connection to the Private series…… very apt.

What I loved about the book was the small chapters. It kept me glued without letting me lose focus of the plot. Also the pace at which the book moved was fast enough to not let me lose the plot. Mumbai being one of my favorite cities and having lived there for a decade, I identified with the plot and the investigators. The trivia about the thuggee cult was totally new to me. Also the trivia about the various sects in India who were listed by the British as the killers was something I had never heard of. Being a Bengali, Durga and navratri are my favorite festivals so the significance of the nine avatars of Durga used in the book in this manner was well imbibed and a revelation. This is the first time that i have read Hindu mythology being used in a thriller in this way.

What I didn’t think necessary in the book was the terrorism angle…….. the Indian Mujahideen angle and the Pakistan and ISI angle could have been avoided as it did not contribute to the main plot in any way. The Nimboo Baba character was also unnecessary. The book was long winding and some of the details regarding the Mumbai serial bomb blasts was totally unnecessary though I must say that it is the first time that the serial blasts in the Mumbai locals has been highlighted. Usually it is only the Taj attack that people talk about.

All in all the book is a great read and value for money.

I want to thank BlogAdda for the excellent read…… it was wonderful!!!

This review is a part of the biggest Book Review Program for Indian Bloggers. Participate now to get free books!

Another day of life

Whatta day!!!! It is just the wee hours of the morning. Infact I haven’t even properly started the day and it is already seeming a downer. Every now and then i have these days of disillusionment. Where one after another i come across more people giving up…… the pessimist in me agrees…… it is for the better,…… but the optimist in me wants to change things.
A 14 yr old is disillusioned in the puppy love. She croons sad songs and puts up stuff which say that everyone has loved someone they cant have. Isn’t 14 too young to decide that???
A friend wishes to throw in the towel and move on her own. She has worked so hard in her life for everything….. now at this juncture giving up everything……. wont it be a wastage of efforts put in.  Don’t we have enough responsibilities and frustrations in our lives that we want to borrow more. Will giving up help. Why is life such a fight at every stage?
Why can’t people mind their own business? Why do we need to have highlights in life? Can’t we just be grateful that we are moving from day to day successfully without a hitch. Life has become such a compromise. I don’t remember what it was otherwise. Standing up for basic rights….. when did that become difficult or wrong. Are we just supposed to mend and move on and ignore the stitches in the middle. Can’t i smoothen it all out and make it all new?
Why can’t we just live for ourselves for a change? The way we want to. The way we dreamed of living.  Is that wrong to ask? Is it impossible to get?
Expecting people to stand up for me is something i have given up a long time ago still…… when somebody lets you down it still hurts.  I should have by now acquired a full non expectation armor but…… i guess i still believe in unicorns…… hahaha
My friend just shared a wonderful quote :

“If you dont like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
~Maya Angelou~

Tea stalls in Kolkata

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This is a pic of a tea stall in Kolkata.  Interestingly this pic was taken at the pinnacle of general election and has the posters of two political leaders waving at you from the corner of the pic. Kolkata is a politically charged place. Anybody and everybody there has an opinion on the political scenario….. The three topics that everyone there talks about over a cup of tea at an ADDA (get together) is weather, politics and their wide range of illnesses…… and ohhhh I forgot Football!!!

Tea stall like this one is a predominant feature in the corner of most streets of Kolkata. The tea stall owners also sell biscuits, chocolates, mint, cigarettes and sometimes some fried eatables to accompany the tea and a paraphernalia of eatables.

This tea stall is close to my mum and dad’s home in Kolkata. I like this pic especially because as a kid i used to love going to this shop. They had these sweet and sour lollipops made with tamarind and jaggery and cumin which I used to love. In my vacations my aunt would buy me two biscuits from this shop every evening. Sometimes she would give me a coin and ask me to get two biscuits for myself.

The shop has since then changed hands a lot of times. The initial owners I remember were my mother’s childhood friend so I would get lots of freebies.

Going to Kolkata during holidays was fun. My mum and dad live closeby so everybody who lived in and around mom and dad’s place were related to me from either side. Either that or they were my mum or dad’s friends. So as soon I would go there people would ask me when I had come for my visit. I was known to all by face. This was a contrast to living in the city where nobody knew you. I resemble my mom too much…… so much that in that place I needed no introduction.

Things have changed these days. The entire demographics of the place has changed. The oldies have either passed away or they have moved for better opportunities in other cities. It is not the same anymore. When I was younger I could knock on any door and just have a glass of water or be welcomed in their home….. made me feel I belonged there. Not anymore….. it doesnt feel like home anymore…… nor do I long to go back there…… in the instances that I have held on to memories and gone there, I have returned disillusioned. My grandparents have passed on and my uncles who were close to me have either passed away or are too old to understand my presence. But yet the place holds the first memories of my childhood…… and all of them happy. So it will remain close to me.

I recently read a beautiful quote by Dalai Lama which I must share.

“I’m now nearly 79. At 16 I took responsibility for Tibet and lost my freedom. At 24 I lost my country and became a refugee. I’ve met difficulties, but as the saying goes: ‘Wherever you’re happy, you can call home, and whoever is kind to you is like your parents.’ I’ve been happy and at home in the world at large. Living a meaningful life isn’t just a matter of money; it’s about dedicating your life to helping others.”

Queen….. the Rani who finds her wings !!!!

I saw Queen yesterday. The movie where Kangana Ranaut plays Rani, the main protagonist. The story is of a simple and “GOOD” girl who gets dumped at the altar by her bf of many years….. only to embark on a journey to her pre arranged honeymoon to Paris and Amsterdam all by herself, meeting people who are totally different from her, beating thugs in paris, selling golgappas in amsterdam and finding herself in the process.

The character of rani is so beautifully balanced. Though she comes from an orthodox indian background….. where at every juncture in life she is told what to do by her parents or her fiancee or her friends……. she totally accepts the other people she meets on her journey without wanting to change them. Yes she is scandalised on more than one occasion. Be it when she finds her new friend sleeping with lots of men or when she meets the stripper at amsterdam or when she has to  share a room with three other men at a hostel. But her journey to discovering independence for herself is beautiful.

Her non judgemental attitude stands out. Be it the waitress who has a child out of wedlock or the stripper in amsterdam who is waiting for a package from her mother from home or her mother in law who thinks she shd join the kitty party. She takes people at face value. People are the same world wide. People from all parts of the world whoever they are….. are scared of lizards….. i think tht is what we need to realise. Color language sex dont really matter. The humor in the movie is totally not lost on the audience infact it is superbly timed and keeps the audience glued….. asking more. The total lack of melodrama and the punju crass makes it more appealing to me. The simplicity of the main protagonist is outstanding….. it makes her more endearing to u.

For me the movie is about finding wings……  every girl needs to find her wings and shd know to fly….. every guy needs it too but girls need it more than them. Because at every juncture in life they are forced to prove themselves and at tht time it helps to know your true potential.  Nothing can beat the independence of soaring high and feeling you can do everything and achieve everything.

The movie was also about finding goodness in the seemingly worst situations. The best part of the movie was not making a love equation between the main protagonist and the guys she meets on her journey. She lets them be for what they were. Friends on a journey who share moments of time together and help each other close traumatic chapters of their life and discover themselves….. and then move on with a promise to keep in touch…… you really dont need to marry everybody u come in contact with u no. It was a fresh breath of breather from the other bollywood movies where getting hooked up is soooo necessary.

I personally think every woman shd take a trip like this one atleast once in her life….. without the cocoon of protection from family and relatives. I loved the last scene where she hands back the ring to her fiancee and thanks him. I had a smile for all the 15 kms ride back home. I think i am inspired enuf to go to a trip like that one.

I would give the movie a 10 out of 10…… full paisa wasool.

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