Independence from bullies.

Recently I was privy to a certain gentleman, a regular troublemaker of sorts, a cyber bully who loves the eye ball effect, call names to the security guard of a housing society and also threaten to slap him all because the guard was unable to open the alternate gate of the society because it was raining. He took largely to social media calling names to people who were supporting him and with a lot of chest pounding he says if I am paying for his services he should deliver. We have been receiving torrential rains in our city in the last few days. The society’s directive to use one single gate for management purpose was issued well in advance to all society members in different medium like notice boards and whatsapp and email. In spite of this the gentleman (read caveman) hurling obscenities at the security personnel and the society members who supported him.

In another instance there was a power outage in certain flats in the society and I was unable to find the reason for the same. I took to social media to find the reason for the same. A certain gentleman gave me many reasons as to why the electricity was not working but never once offered help physically.

We celebrate our independence day this week and I am really stunned as to where our society is heading. We are living in an age of utter intolerance where the people do not think twice before hurling obscenities and physical violence if their wishes are not met with. What happened to the first thing that we learnt as we were kids (at least I did!) “BE KIND” is it a very huge thing to ask for. In the second case the person in question could have come down and offered to help to sort the problem but rather stayed back enjoying the monsoon at his home. Empathy and Sympathy have flown out of the door long before but just being kind to a fellow human…… Is that too much to ask for???

What kind of a society am I envisioning for my daughter….. One that says that if you have the money, everybody else who has less money than you can be abused physically and verbally. Social media evil has finally caught up. We have been writing and reading about its evils for long but now seeing them in action is totally overwhelming. Cyber bullies rule the scene. You can say anything to anybody and get away with it. People would rather comment on various social media about what has to be done rather than help a fellow human in need. Such behavior is truly appalling!!! They are the worst onlookers in the world….. the ones that witness an accident and do nothing to help in fear of getting embroiled in serious legal cases.

One thing that is paramount on everybody’s brain today is that what is there in it for me. I will only pitch in if it affects me. My house should be clean and nice even if that means somebody else’s house gets dirty in the process. Kindness has left us. It is so saddening. We just want to hurt people and the thing is that in most cases they get away with it. It is something that remains a chapter in the moral science books of kids. I am scared of the society I will be passing on to my daughter. Terrified of her physical and mental health when she is exposed to these social psychopaths.

In my childhood I remember living in a totally different set up. It seems like a different city or a different age. But the fact remains is that the geography is still the same and the age is not so long ago….. It is the people who have changed. I remember my neighbor aunty would pop in at home and ask my mom if she wanted anything from the shops as she was visiting the same. When mom was hospitalized and dad went to take care of mom, my neighbor literally took us in fed us saw to our school and everything else…… she even celebrated my birthday as dad and mom were not around….. just like my maasi or any other relative would have done. If there was a fuse problem we would ring our neighbors bell and ask uncle to fix it. We never thought twice about it. We never missed family. Our neighbors were our family. At one instance there was an accident and a neighbor brought me home. Today these are stories….. we no longer share the same relation with our neighbors….. rather if we find a neighbor making a mistake we would gloat about what a horrendous person the family is and add lot of pictures to it as well. Help to rectify it…… I have never heard of. We need occasions to meet our neighbors….. which has to include a show of wealth!!!! Let me give you two scenarios and rest my case

Scenario 1996 : It is raining cats and dogs. Child rings neighbor’s bell….”Uncle there is no electricity and Papa is not at home”. Uncle was having tea and pakoras says “ok lets go!!! must be the fuse……”. Fuse repaired electricity restored took all of five minutes. Child thanks uncle and they go home to return to their respective activities.

Scenario 2016 : It is raining cats and dogs. Child rings neighbor’s bell….”Uncle there is no electricity and Papa is not at home”. Uncle was having tea and pakoras says “I have electricity. Have you asked Shukla jee? I can see that all the neighboring flats have electricity as well. Where has your father gone?”  Child “Dad has gone to buy Lauki” Uncle “I don’t understand why the electricity goes off only in your flat so often. You must be using some heavy duty equipment. Do you have an inverter? It is such a necessity these days. So very convenient for your father to go to buy lauki when there is no electricity. Have u checked all the rooms? Have you pressed the reset button? Have you checked if it has tripped? Have you checked the fuse? I will forward you the google link for “How to change fuse so you can change it”. That link is very reliable. Also I will whatsapp you the numbers for the electricians in the vicinity. I will also share the zimmber app so you can get a discount for the electrician and I get a benefit of points from the referral. If your father can afford lauki he can also afford the services of an electrician. Why can’t he take responsibility for his home….. Kaamchor!!! Makkar!!! See I have been so helpful….. If all of this does not work you should call MSEB you can find their app on google playstore and register a complaint and don’t forget to post it on whatsapp so that others can all file complaints. We should always be united and help each other. And once electricity is restored I will give you a thumbs up for it in whatsapp.” Took all of 30 minutes….. Child thanks uncle and returns home to darkness uncle to his pakoras which alas have become cold…… All because of the pesky neighbor’s annoying kid. So neighbor is eating lauki….. He seems to have become rich!!!

I used the example of Lauki because it is not an expensive vegetable and everybody can afford it. But at neighbor’s home lauki becomes a status symbol. The changing of the fuse would have probably taken 5 minutes atleast that is the amount of time it takes me to change the fuse. But uncle would rather launch on a long rhetoric discourse of options available. Who wants research when simple changing fuse could have helped!!!

People prey on other peoples weakness, their mistakes, their judgmental errors!!! I was taught that if a person considers that they have committed a mistake they should be forgiven. To err is human after all. But when the person thinks that they are right because it effects a person who is of lower economic strata…… he is poor, he deserves it….. it is appalling. People think they are God because they can pay…… but they forget God does not judge…… at least that is what I was taught to believe in. Rather these people would prey on their mistakes and make a social mockery of them.

Independence from evils….. isn’t that what we wish for??? for ourselves, for our kids and for the people we care. Then why have we lost it??? Is being kind so difficult. Empathy Sympathy are they tough??? People flood the social media with pictures of mistakes of other people….. I haven’t once seen a positive picture, in this case a picture of a smiling security guard who is thousands of miles away from his home his family his children protecting other people and their kids their homes and their families. Not one good deed of theirs is highlighted. These people stay months away from families not knowing who is protecting their kids. Who doesn’t wish to spend a wet and rainy day indoors surrounded by your loved ones??? But monetary constraints have them travelling to far off places in search of livelihood. The society member in question could easily have reversed his car in the rain and used the other gate which is 200 or less meters away. But he chose to hurl abuses physical and verbal at the security guards because he has paid for his services. Since you are poor u deserve to get wet in the rain! My intention is not to glorify the security guards but to highlight the reaction of a member of society because his wishes of opening the gate were not met….. because he paid for the services of the security guard.

Kindness people…… we need kindness for our world and intolerance against people who are not kind until they realize they can’t get away by being rude and mean to people. We have lost a lot of lives because of cyber bullies. These bullies prey on innocent and weak people and back them up to commit life threatening consequences. Stop them!!! Give our children and ourselves the gift of a healthy surrounding. Not one where people sneer mock and threaten!!!

If you see something like this happen to anybody don’t stop to protect. Your child or you could be next!!!! Give us independence from these people. Force them to be kind!!! Stop using social media for proving your wealth and poverty of others and for chest thumping. In my experience as a social worker I found immense peace and happiness by just helping people….. If you don’t agree it is ok……. let it go. Not everything in this universe deserves a reaction from you. But don’t let that stop you from protecting those who can’t protect themselves. Tell them they can’t hurt people!

Kindness goes a long way!!! Try it !!!!



Combative sports

Perfect little hands


Waking up to a beautiful morning

Ekla cholo re!

Kolkata balcony

Jodi tor dak shune keu na ashe tobe ekla cholo re,
Ekla cholo, ekla cholo, ekla cholo, ekla cholo re.

Jodi keu kotha na koe, ore ore o obhaga,keu kothana koi
Jodi shobai thake mukh firaee shobai kore bhoe,
Tobe poran khule
O tui mukh fute tor moner kotha ekla bolo re.

Jodi shobai fire jae, ore ore o obhaga,shobai phire jai
Jodi gohon pothe jabar kale keu fire na chae,
Tobe pother kata
O tui roktomakha chorontole ekla dolo re.

Jodi alo na dhore, ore ore o obhaga,
Jodi jhor-badole adhar rate duar dee ghore—
Tobe bojranole
Apon buker pajor jalie nie ekla jolo re.

Jodi tor dak shune keu na ashe tobe ekla cholo re,

Translation to English
If they answer not to your call walk alone
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,open your mind and speak out alone.
If they turn away, and desert you when crossing the wilderness,
O thou unlucky one,trample the thorns under thy tread, and along the blood-lined track travel alone.
If they shut doors and do not hold up the light when the night is troubled with storm,
O thou unlucky one, with the thunder flame of pain ignite your own heart, and let it burn alone.

~~~Rabindranath Tagore~~~

Flower#116……..Blooms From my garden

Organized Chaos, Kuala Lumpur

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